Shouldn't be lonely

I look at all the friends I've made over my lifetime. I have so many friends on Facebook. I look through the phone numbers I have. But how many people do I really talk to? How much effort to I take to talk to people? Do I push people away? Do I choose not to talk to people? Do I wait for people to come to me? I don't know if it's something wrong with me. That I don't answer my phone. That I don't have full inboxes. I have so many friends that I hang out with. But when I'm away from school how many of them actually talk to me. I just question the connections I've supposedly made with people. I've just lost so many people that sometimes it just seems hopeless to make friends for find a guy that will truly love me and love me forever. I've been hurt that I just get tired of people. Why is it so hard? Why do I second guess myself and people? Why do I close myself off? Why can't I trust? This thinking floods over to my spiritual life to. My relationship with God seems to be the same as with my friends. It gets old and dumb. God is not just my friend, my best friend, he is my God! My saviour! He should mean so much more to me than people. He puts people in my life. He does everything for my good. for a reason. So I really shouldn't feel lonely or empty. He fills all holes and gaps. I have my little pity party than I start to think about Him and it always makes me feel better. That's good right? He should be the center of my thoughts instead of my own feelings and wants. Because with him as my everything, he gives me what I need, want. What more could I possibly ask for?