Untitled.

Blog Date Entry

I had the longest weekend of my life. Not saying that it was a bad thing, it was just long and I felt like I did not sleep. So sitting here with my good friend Lacy and her friend Andy, is a nice release. I like just chilling and talking or looking through pictures and blogging. There is obviously not a lot of blogging going on, even though that was the main purpose. But that's ok. It's nice anyway.
I got to see my bestest friend for a few hours. It was bittersweet. We got to talk and laugh and just have a good time. I just feel like we don't see each other enough or talk enough. It makes me sad. So seeing her made my week. I wish I could see her more often. Now that she is dating Sam too makes it a lot more fun to go and see her. It was sad that our whole little group wasn't together, but Thomas had to work. We had a moment to think about him though. So he was there in spirit.
Before I went and saw Meghan, I spent a few hours out at Neveda Baptist church with a bunch of crazy teenagers playing Monopoly. It was lots of fun just to be a teenager for the day. Phil Cox spoke and it was really pretty good and very challenging. There was lots of good kids and good food and lots of Monopoly fun. I would say getting up early for that was way worth it. Good way of spending my Saturday.
I absolutely love coffee. I just learned this. I love coffee, lattes, cappuccinos, mochas, all of it. I'm just a big fan. I'm not addicted but when I can get it, I am happy. It keeps me going.
My sleeping patterns are so screwed up anymore. I stay up til 2 am or so and get up around 10 am or so.
Update on my bucket list: I haven't really done much lol I have been taking more pictures and giving more hugs and I've actually talked on the phone more and I've lost some weight. So I'm still working on it. 
Let me rhyme about our time in Cafe Diem.

Ikea paper ball lights hanging over head.
Caramel Vanilla Latte is now dead.
Dwelling on Colorado memories.
Looking at Pictures and telling stories.
Sipping on Italian soda.
Remembering Mr. Rushmore and lots of nada.
A picture of an old lady in hosiery.
And the random word Rosary. 
Working on blogs.
Trying not to saw some logs.
Couches made of Leather.
Happy that today had such good weather.
Maps on my chair.
Place Butt Here.

$1 all you can eat spaghetti!

Really who turns down an offer like that?? Especially when a handful of your closest funniest friends are going to be there.When life gets overwhelming and frustrating, it's nice just to goof off and hang out with some great people.
Everyone acts differently when put with different friends. You may be loud and obnoxious with one friend where with another you're quiet and serious. We all have those friends we can talk to and who we can goof off with. There are those friends who you can be completely yourself with and others you may hold back some. Everyone has a different personality. Sometimes we don't all get along but they are your friends nonetheless. There will be fights and awkwardness. You have to work at it. Friendship is a two way street. But the ones that stick by you through thick and thin are the ones that are worth the work.
You realize who your true friends are when you're going through a hard time. The ones that are there holding your hand or giving you encouraging words. The ones that stay up to wish you happy birthday at midnight. The ones that listen to you babble incessantly about nothing at all. The ones that can put up with your boy talk. The ones that just sit there and watch a movie with you. The one you can laugh with and laugh at. The ones that will bug you until you talk. The ones that will smack you when you're being an idiot. The ones you can text late at night just to talk. The ones that will pay for you and take you out on dates. The ones you can stay up with to the wee hours of the morning just watching youtube videos together and chatting about craziness. The ones you can play fight with and be the best of friends with when it's all over. The ones that will call you on their way home from work.
I'm lucky enough to have a handful of these amazing friends. We have our ups and downs but we all stick together. They aren't just for fun they are for the hard times too. We help each other. I may fail sometimes at being the friend I need to be but we all help each other. I praise God for the people he has put in my life.
I don't know what I would do without them. I know I talk about them a lot on here. But there is just so much to say and be thankful for. I like to brag on them.

There goes everyone, blogging without me.

So I have basically had way to many pity parties. I don't get why I keep feeling so sorry for myself. Wah, wah! Get over it already. Everybody goes through tough times. Yeah, I have struggled with depression for a good part of my life. It's something that can be overcome, but it happens. I'm thankful for the friends that will sit there and listen to me anyway. I get in bad moods and it affects the people around me. And I'm sorry. But you guys love me anyway. And I really appreciate it. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have my friends and my family. They always have encouraging words and are always honest with me. They help lift me up when I'm down. Even when I don't want to talk they get it out of me. They know when something is wrong and they help me fix it.
Yeah, I don't have a job. I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a plan for my life. I'm scared and feel alone. But I have a God that never leaves or forsakes me. The other night I spent over an hour just crying and calling out to Him. And it made me feel so much better. He is the best friend I have. And he helped me so much more than any of my friends could have. I need to call out to Him more and trust Him more. That's my problem. I have a mighty God that I have been neglecting. I'm not going to be happy or content if I don't have my God leading the way. I have to let him direct my life. I can't hold the reigns of my life. I have to give them over.
God gave me the friends I have to lead me to Him. And I thank God for my friends. And I thank God that He loves me and takes care of me every day.
Thanks to a certain friend for pointing me in the right direction. :) I know I'm a stubborn butt, but you always know what to say.

Twenty Twelve!

I usually hate doing resolutions. I find no difference between a new year and a new day. We should try to better ourselves every day. New year is just another day just a new number. But this year I'm just going to jump on the band wagon for once. So my resolution this year is to make this an epic year. Not the last years haven't been epic but this one is going to be a different epic. I'm going to be crazy, grown up, free, mature, fabulous, and everything in between. I'm going to change my look, my attitude, my life. It's going to be amazing. It's going to take lots of work but I plan to make lots happen. Lacy inspired me with her bucket list blog and I'm going to make one. I want to do more than just the 10 but it's a place to start.

Bucket List!!
1. Go sledding since I've never done it. (If it ever snows up here in Iowa)
2. Lose weight. Really who doesn't want that on their list?
3. Dance in the rain. 
4. Play ultimate Frisbee.
5. Buy a 50/60's style dress :)
6. Express my feelings instead of hide them.
7. Call more people instead of just text. 
8. Go to the theater and see a chick flick (Shocker, I know)
9. Give more hugs.
10. Take more pictures!!


So that's just a general list for now. I want to do so much more! I want to get my devotions going better. I want to visit more churches. I want to make new friends. I want to go out on dates! There is just so much that could make this year amazing. I think I'm going to make a playlist for my life. :) it will be awesome. I love music so it describes things so well. Last year was good but really nothing amazing happened. So this year I'm going to change that. So look out world!