Such a thing as too much blogging?

I have been blogging a lot here lately. I have had a lot on my mind, I guess. I must say that my life here in Iowa hasn't go as I have planned. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been all bad. I've had some great times, but there have been some bad times. I have had some struggles and I've gotten discouraged. I've had my down days. I've cried myself to sleep sometimes. I've had break downs. I'll admit that I'm scared. I don't know where my life is going to go or how to get to where I need to go. I don't know what God wants me to do. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who to trust or who I need in my life. I don't know who needs me in their life. I don't want to waste my life away. I don't want to be waiting for something to happen. I want a job. I need something to keep me busy. Something to keep my mind from thinking so much. Thinking gets me in trouble. It never goes well when I have a lot of time to think. Because than I over analyze things. I think to much I start to panic. Just so much in my head. Sometimes it comes out to the poor soul willing to listen. Sometimes I bottle it up until I explode and go off on the poor soul willing to talk to me. Bottling up always ends bad and sometimes so does talking to people about your problems. So usually I find blogging about it so much easier. It might not make sense to the rest of you but it makes me feel better.

Crying out to God with tears in my eyes,

my pillow clenched against my chest,

wishing life could stay on it's highs,

wishing my life would just take a rest.

I only want to stop messing up

Make something important of my life

If people see me close up

They'd realize my real strife.

I need a direction

I can't see my path

Let's move on to the next section

Good time for a bubble bath

If you read this, I'm sorry

I have lots to say.

Even on a night that is starry,

I still see the grey.

Every star has a silver lining, they say

I'm waiting for the glimmer to appear

Just waiting for a sunny day,

when everything is crystal clear.

God has big plans for me, I know it's true

He has something He wants me to do.

I can't see it right now, tho.

So for now I just need love.